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The Unauthorized Autobiography of Jeb McRary [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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A Fond Farewell [Dec. 31st, 2006|10:37 pm]
I've decided to leave LiveJournal.

No please don't cry. I've had a good run. I've nearly went two years. And I believe I'm posting more than I ever have before. In fact the reason I'm leaving LiveJournal is because...????????
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Mistake? [Dec. 31st, 2006|07:04 pm]
I'm really enjoying all the MySpace whorebots or whatever the hell they are that are crowding my inbox with friend requests and messages. Or are these actual real people? OH GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE!

The Panthers suck. That is all.

I felt sorry for my brother. The Bengals lost to Pittsburgh in overtime which eliminated them from the playoffs.  And Denver is currently losing...which means Cincy would have been in had they won. OH THE HUMANITY!

My mother's birthday is the 3rd. And I haven't gotten anything yet. I'm still recovering from Christmas. It's too damned close!

Rebirth coming.
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An interesting idea [Dec. 31st, 2006|12:24 pm]
I was in the shower suddenly an idea entered my head. Not sure where it came from. A concept rap album based loosely on Wings of Desire. Not sure if that's too ridiculous to work yet. But several different things I was thinking about, if you add the Wings of Desire "gimmick" they seem to fit together. And it actually provides a theme. I may post more on this later. If I decide it's not completely absurd.
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So I'm a failure at life [Dec. 31st, 2006|01:09 am]
I made a MySpace today. Not really sure why. I think I was bored. Maybe I just want to make sure to be as much a part of Web 2.0 before it inevitably crashes. I can't wait.

I just got back from watching the latest UFC PPV. It was probably the best one I've seen. My brother might get me into this after all.

Speaking of UFC, maybe I should take up a martial art when I get time. It's disappointing that my brother can beat me up now. Damned jujitsu. I would take tae kwon do. And then I would kick his ass. Literally. It depends on kicks and whatnot.

Ok I've been listening to My Love more today. It's better than I gave it credit. But still not song of the year. I'm disappointed in you Pitchfork.

And I'm vastly disappointed in MySpace Music. You know how damn hard I looked for a real good song for my profile. I really wanted Decades by Joy Division. BUT NO!!!! Couldn't find it. Sonofabitch. So right now I've stuck with a little indie. "Wolf Like Me" by TV On the Radio.

I worked some on my W&M application today. I think all I have to do now is interview, write my essays and wait for my recommenders to (hopefully) build me up. I still need to contact someone for Wake Forest. So hopefully, we'll have this done by February. I want to be able to celebrate Black History Month in relative peace.

I finished my (truncated) season of The Sopranos. Now I have to wait for the second half of Season 6 to be released and then the saga will be over. I can't wait. And I'll miss it. I figure there will be lots of bad endings at the end. But we'll have to see.

I've been coming up with some pretty good rhymes (at least to me) lately. I need to write some of them together and put them together in some sort of a song. And then hire Danger Mouse. And then I will have it made.

Well the Giants won tonight. Which means the Carolina Panthers have been eliminated. Well that was an abrupt end. After the p,layoff matches are set I'll be ranking the teams on likelihood of winning. I'm not telling you which teams have a legitimate chance to win. Because I didn't include Pittsburgh last year and then they made me look dumb by winning it all. So now I'll just tell you who has the best chance to worst. That way I can protect myself. Besides, my absolute guarantees only works for the NCAA Tournament where I think I'll be going for my 7th straight year. Stay tuned.
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Saddam and Me [Dec. 29th, 2006|08:40 pm]
It looks as if Saddam Hussein may be put to death by the end of the night (or Saturday...time zone difference.) I thought before it happened I should write a little about it.

Saddam Hussein was and is a horrible person. He killed thousands of people. He was head of one of the worst dictatorships in modern history with horrific war crimes from the Iran-Iraq war, the gassing of the Kurds and on. He slaughtered large amounts of his own people in cruel ways. So if anyone were to deserve the death penalty it would be him.

But they shouldn't do it. First of all, I'm fundamentally opposed to the death penalty. I think it can be a much better punishment in some situations to throw someone in jail for the rest of their life. Eric Rudolph comes to mind. That punk plead guilty just to avoid death and now he's upset in prison because he's not treated very well. I'm really hurting over that. I'm sure those people's families he hurt and killed in the Atlanta Olympic bombing and the abortion clinic bombings are real upset too. So, just on general principle, I think life can be a more fitting crime.

In this situation, though it may be the safe choice. If the Iraqi government were to spare his life, that would be a powerful statement to the world. It would say that through all the horrors that he brought, even though he never spared anyone from death, that they hold that power over him and they choose to let him live. I think it would act in shaming him. But that's still not the most important reason.

When this SOB hangs, he's going to instantly become a martyr for the Sunni people. I don't think this trial was a sham (it wasn't ran totally well either I'll admit) but there's a hell of a lot of Iraqis that do. And when news of his death comes out, I fear that what will come will make the last three years look like Candy Land. It sure won't help.

American deaths have nearly reached 3,000 and have passed the death count from 9/11. That many Iraqis are dying PER MONTH! Do we really need to make this worse?
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Jeb's Movie Rankings [Dec. 28th, 2006|09:51 pm]
Well, it's that time of year again when I rank all the movies I've seen that have been released this calendar year. Today is the 28th (pay no attention to that stupid time on LJ. It's 5 hours ahead and I can't fix it. But it will be fixed permanently on January 1st. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and since I don't think Letters From Iwo Jima will be in this area till 2007, I'm doing my rankings now. Here we go... FROM THE BOTTOM!

20. See No Evil- In a time where horror is making a big comeback in quality not seen since the 1970s and 1980s, this one was dead on arrival. Totally ridiculous in every way...but I can't say I wasn't expecting since it was produced by WWE (that's World Wrestling Entertainment for those not in the know). And the villain was one of their lamest wrestlers. There were one or two interesting death scenes, but overall this is one to miss.

19. Lady in the Water: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I should have ranked this last on general principle but just couldn't for reasons mentioned above. Directed and written by M. Night Shyamalan, the man who brought you the vastly overrated The Sixth Sense comes an utterly preposertous story about narfs, scrunts, the tantugent and other names that you wonder how the actors aren't laughing on screen just talking about them. This is based on a bedtime story Shyamalan told his children and I can't help but wonder that after he kissed them goodnight and left the room, that the children were asking one another "What in the fuck is wrong with Dad?" Now, I'm not criticizing fantasy. Fantasy can be great in movies. Witness Lord of the Rings. Or any Star Wars movie not released since my birth. But this movie never draws you in and it just becomes embarassing. But it gets better. Apparently Shyamalan has become egotistical, he felt the need to cast himself in a role in which the movie states he will be a writer who inspires great men and causes great change in this world. I shit you not. And he has the audacity to cast someone to play a critic and he's the most unlikable character in the movie. And he is the only one to die. OH DAMN! I spoiled it! Now you can't go see it!  So with all this, Lady in the Water deserves to be ranked this low.

18. The Hills Have Eyes: A remake that wasn't really needed. Alexandre Aja is capable of better (see High Tension) but this one lands with a thud. I thought it was a tad too violent but that's not really a fair criticism because High Tension wasn't cute and sweet. And this world is too violent at times so I'll try not to go there. But I will say that the film tries to make some moral statement and it seems pretty forced. And after the absolutely vicious siege, it's hard to keep up any momentum. And a dumb ending. So don't bother. Watch High Tension. Or any of the other horror on this list (SPOILER)

17. Glory Road: Inspirational sports movie. You've seen it before. It might have been a different sport. Or a different time period. But you've seen it before. Also, I'm a college basketball nut. They blatantly changed history by changing the games in the Final Four to match talking about Kansas, Duke, and Kentucky. Based on a true story my ass.

16. Eragon: Pretty much a Lord of the Rings ripoff. I never read the book, but my brother did (and liked it) and he was disappointed in the movie so I'll depend on his word for some parts. And it's too short. If you're gonna do a movie like this don't do it half-ass. You can tell they skip stuff. I've never read LOTR but I can't tell that they skip stuff because it's done in such a way that it's accessible to non-readers. Eragon (the movie) is not. Perhaps they'll do better with the sequels.Although it does get bonus points as John Malkovich does the best job this year of overacting. Worth the price of admission.

15. X-Men: The Last Stand: A massive drop-off in quality from the second movie. They kill off characters like mad and pretty much leave no emotional impact. I'm getting damn sick and tired of how invincible they're making Wolverine in these movies. Bryan Singer as director is sorely missed.

14. Fearless: Jet Li martial arts movie. Nothing special. But it kinda drew me in at the end. I was a little disappointed in some of the fight scenes though even though they had the famous choreographer Yuen Woo-Ping (The Matrix, Crouching Tiger: Hidden Dragon).

13. Hostel: Pretty mean-spirited torture horror. Some fun cameos from producer Tarantino and Japanese horror director Takashi Miike. Perhaps too mean-spirited and I will agree with the criticism of being ignorant of European life.

12. Superman Returns: This is why Bryan Singer didn't do the third X-Men film. The tone seems really off for a Superman movie. A little too dark and depressing for my taste. And the ending was ridiculously long. Most of the acting was pretty good. Even Spacey was better than I thought he would be. Not a huge fan of Bosworth though. And in the plane crash scene, she should have been dead a dozen times. I know it's a Superman movie and I'm supposed to suspend disbelief but c'mon.

11. Mission Impossible III: Maybe the best one of the series, but I'm not a huge fan of the series so that's pretty faint praise. Maybe I just liked Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the villain. He's just a total bastard. Great job.

10. Inside Man: Your typical con movie where they take a twist every 10 minutes or so. It's by Spike Lee so it's a little better than your usual fare. Not sure why Jodie Foster was in this movie but whatever.

9. Nacho Libre: The Napoleon Dynamite fans can shut up now because it's not even Jared Hess's best movie. I'm pleased that he's already improving with this very quirky comedy of Jack Black as a monk who moonlights as a Mexican luchador wrestler. It's just as ridiculous as Napoleon Dynamite if not more so but I was drawn more into it. But maybe that's because I liked wrestling back in the day. I have issues.

8. An Inconvenient Truth: Pretty fascinating movie about global warming. I've been convinced by either side in this issue, but after watching this movie, I'm waiting for a serious rebuttal to former Vice-President Al Gore's comments. It is more interesting than you'd think even though it's mostly Al Gore doing a presentation to audiences on the issue of global warming. A few issues...the inclusion of hurricanes such as Katrina being the result of global warming seems to be a dubious charge with the information I've been reading. Not saying it WAS NOT the result, but perhaps a tad bit of a reach at this moment in time. I also found it interesting how much biographical info is mentioned about Al Gore. Which is why I think you should expect a certain someone to throw his hat in the Presidential ring.

7. Slither: Why do a horror movie and just stick to one threat (zombies, aliens, etc.) Hell throw them all into one! A really enjoyable horror/comedy about aliens trying to take over the world and eating all the inhabitants by turning them into zombies with worms and...the plot doesn't really matter that much. Brings the best of B-horror to the plate and a few homages to the old days such as Cronenberg with his body horror before he made "serious" films like A History of Violence.

6. Snakes on a Plane: Damn right. I'm disappointed how it flopped at the box office but it was everything I had hoped for. Were some parts totally ridiculous? Of course! Gratuitous nudity and violence? Absolutely! Look this isn't Shakespeare and it ain't Citizen Kane. This is snakes on a motherfucking plane and goddammit Samuel L. Jackson wants them off!

5. Borat: Eh....if you do not like....he will be execute. Absolutely hilarious. Pitch-perfect throughout (well except for the overlong naked fight scene. But that was probably done intentionally to make everyone totally uncomfortable. Mission accomplished.) When you do a ridiculous comedy like this and it is mentioned in The Economist, then I think the satire hit the bullseye.

4. Little Miss Sunshine:  A delightful road comedy with extremely engaging characters who (*gasp) aren't stereotypes and change as the result of their misadventures. More of an intellectual comedy so don't rent it if you want Eurotrip.

3. United 93: Too soon? Nope. Powerful movie that tells the events of 9/11 and zeros in most on the ill-fated United 93 that crashed in Pennsylvania. Obviously, that portion may be mostly fiction as we'll never now for sure what happened on that plane. But this is not what you'd think it is. This is not an overly dramatic movie. It's very real. And that's why it is so good. Most Hollywood movies of this type would have inspirational speeches and a bombastic score but no. This is too important to stoop to those cliches. This is a moment where most didn't know what the hell to do or even what the hell was going on and when certain people stepped up when they needed to. If you don't have a tear in your eye when the screen turns black, you might not be human.

2. The Descent: I warned you that horror is coming back. And this might be the best horror film in at least ten years. I didn't see The Cave (my brother did). Please don't think they are comparable. British horror about a group of girls who go spelunking in the Appalachian (it never says exactly where they are but there is a North Carolina car tag) and discover that there are horrible creatures down below. I won't spoil the plot but there are revelations (which you can probably guess) but if you're not careful you'll miss. Because they don't spell it out or beat you over the head. That doesn't make much sense but I can't explain without spoiling and I only spoil bad movies like Lady in the Water. I liked the homages to older movies. I saw The Shining, Carrie, Alien, Predator, Apocalypse Now, Deliverance, and assorted others that I may have missed. Rent this and turn out the lights. You won't be disappointed.

1. The Departed: Scorsese's best since Goodfellas. Nobody but Scorsese can make a long movie just zip by. Very fast paced. An all-star cast (Nicholson, DiCaprio, Wahlberg, Damon, Baldwin, Sheen) a wonderfully complex plot. I wasn't aware it's a remake of a Hong Kong movie called Infernal Affairs. If remakes are always worse than Infernal Affairs must be the greatest movie of all time. I used to call him Leonardo DiFagrio, but I believe that he has truly arrived as one of the greatest actors of this generation along with Matt Damon. The tension is palpable throughout until the very last frame. I'm still trying to figure out all the themes and complexities. If Scorsese doesn't finally win an Oscar for this...than they should just close the Academy.
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I've decided people have too much time on their hands [Dec. 27th, 2006|10:38 am]
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Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. [Dec. 27th, 2006|01:08 am]
He was delicious

Sorry. I couldn't resist. I've been waiting for years for that SNL skit to finally ring accurate.

But in all seriousness, RIP President Ford.

I just got back from watching The Star Wars Holiday Special. I think something that bad deserves its own Running Diary. Expect that in the near future.

And that's all I got for now.
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Every post has its thorns [Dec. 26th, 2006|02:03 am]
Or is that every rose? I always forget.

Well I was getting ready to go to bed, but I thought I'd post a little before I go. In my Guinness pajamas. I'm so cool.

Well Daisy is doing a little better. She's still not home yet. But maybe she'll get to come home in a couple days. And mother and me patched things up. Guess where I get my stubborn personality from?

Well I just finished watching Jet Li's Fearless which was an ok movie. Not quite as ridiculously miserable as Lady in the Water. I'll be doing my 2006 Movie Rankings in a little while so I'll wait to comment till then.

New Year's Resolution #1: Start playing trombone again. I haven't touched it since...May 26. Are you impressed that I know that?

James Brown died today. My dad is probably happy now. He really liked James Brown aka The Hardest Working Man in Show Business

That damn synthesizer part in My Love won't get out of my head. I don't even like that song. This must be why Pitchfork said it was the best song of the year. Just in hopes that would appease the tortuous melody. Or something like that.

New Year's Resolution #2: Don't watch Babe on New Year's. That caused me nothing but trouble.

Boy holidays suck for instant messaging. It seems my buddy list on AIM shrinks like mad. And most of the people that are on I don't care to talk to. Which begs the question: Why are they on my buddy list? Answer: Because I don't feel like culling it.

I'll have a Top Ten Challenge posting fairly soon. That's what I was trying to post earlier when I accidentally clicked on the wrong button and then LJ ate it.

New Year's Resolution #3: Actually finish a song

I'm reading Suite Francaise right now. Kinda slow reading, but I'm trying to savor it.

I saw there's a reality show on casting for the new production of Grease. Do we really need to keep bringing Grease back? I mean would are lives be any less enjoyable if it never returned? I vote no.

New Year's Resolution #4: Actually start selling stuff on ebay. I have such a load of crap that needs to be gotten rid of.

And I'm going to murder Ashley for putting The Black Parade in my head.

My cousin is coming Wednesday with his wife and twin girls. That should be interesting. I commented today that he doesn't challenge me to weigh-ins anymore. When I was younger, he always challenged me because since I was shorter and weighed the same (if not more than I do now) he was always insinuating that I was fat and weighed at least as much as he did. Well since he gained "sympathy weight" when his wife gained...and since I can apparently get down to around 160 without doing a damn thing...that competition has sorta stopped. Haha.

New Year's Resolution #5: Get my brother to do another survey with me on the LJ. It's been awhile and I enjoyed our first one immensely.

Well I'm running out of pithy (yes I'm using a word that I technically don't know the definition of ) observations. Although looking at the definition, I might have used it correctly. FLUKE! But anyway....running I'm going to bed. Good night. And I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Or Satanic goat slaughter. Trying to be politically correct. Don't wanna leave anyone out.

New Year's Resolution #6: Stop using "Well" at the start of every sentence. Check blurbs 2-4 up top.
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Annoyed [Dec. 25th, 2006|11:07 pm]
I'm getting pissed at LiveJournal. That's the second time this week, it's deleted an entry I wanted to post. And the time keeps screwing up. So I have to manually fix it. Boo LiveJournal. Bad form. I was going to post a fairly long I might try to repost it tomorrow.
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